


Mission Established

by SpaceOut



Series: ad astra per aspera [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex is Sec. of the Treasury, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ex-military Rev Squad, George Washington is POTUS, Lafayette works in White House communications, Multi, Non-binary!Lafayette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 12:00:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9656597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceOut/pseuds/SpaceOut
Summary: laffie: what are you doingj.laur: what are YOU doinghercthemerc: obviously sufferinglaffie: to whom are you referringtheham: everyone





	

 

****

**laffie:** what are you doing

 **j.laur:** what are YOU doing

 **hercthemerc:** obviously suffering

 **laffie:** to whom are you referring

 **theham:** everyone

\--

 **laffie:** isn't alex's birthday soon??

 **j.laur:** yep

 **hercthemerc:** yeah

 **laffie:** arE WE NOT DOING ANYTHING?????

 **j.laur:** I FORGOT YOU WERE OUT OF TOWN LAST YEAR FOR THE FIASCO

 **hercthemerc:** kill me

 **laffie:** i have no idea what's going on but it won't warrant your death

 **hercthemerc:** you've been spending wayyy to much time with alex

 **laffie:** he's my boYFRIEND OF COURSE I DO

 **j.laur:** SO HERE"S THE THING LAST YEAR WHEN YOU WERE IN FRANCE HERC AND I TRIED TO CELBRATE HIS BIRTHDAY, WENT AND BOUGHT A CAKE AND BALLOONS AND EVERYTHING. AND THE SCHUYLER SIBLINGS CAME OVER WITH BURR AND THOMAS AND JAMES AND LIKE E V ER Y ONE. BUT, THING IS, ALEX WALKED IN AND WAS OPENLY SOBBING. SOBBING. SO NO ONE KNEW WHAT TO DO, SO I RUSHED OUT, DITCHING MY PARTY HAT AND WENT TO SEE WHAT WAS WRONG. TURNS OUT, HIS BIRTHDAY HE ALWAYS HAS A TON OF ANXIETY BC HIS DEATH AND MEANING COMPLEX ON TOP OF HIS FRANKLY HORRIBLE CHILDHOOD

 **j.laur:** so yeah, i think we should keep it on the down-low this year

 **laffie:** christ

\--

 **hercthemerc:** the party was my idea and oh god i'm still cringing over it- it was not a good time at all where's alex i need to hug him

 **j.laur:** lmao in my arms as i cry

 **laffie:** here hercules, hug me i'm not emotionally stable either

 **hercthemerc:** we need better communication honestly

 **theham:** i hope you all realized that both of these convos were in the group chat lmao stab me ha hAHAH A

 **j.laur::** SHI T

 **laffie:** ME R  D E

 **hercthemerc:** yeah so fucking hug john, go gO G O

 **theham:** did i mention i love you

\--

 **theham:** i love you all so much but honestly i'm so sweaty get off me

 **j.laur:** but-

 **hercthemerc:** we-

 **laffie:** love-

 **theham:** to let your boyfriend breathe is how u end that sentence

 **hercthemerc:** yikes okay

            --

 **laffie:** what is work

 **j.laur** : hell

 **hercthemerc:** fun suffering

 **theham:** 99.9% the reason i was alive before i met you guys

 **j.laur:** has anyone ever told you you're dramatic

 **theham:** yeah but get this: my life was dramatic

 **laffie:** not wrong there

 **hercthemerc:** we're all dramatic john you're just sulking

 **j.laur:** wHY WOULD I BE SULKING

 **hercthemerc:** went over to martha's place to play video games last night and u missed out on a,,,,fun night....back at home base

 **theham:** it was soft too, cuddly and warm

 **j.laur:** YOU GOT ME OMKAY NESXT TIME: I"MCOMMING OKAY LOVES

 **hercthemerc:** WE MISSED YOU NOT BEING THERE

 **laffie:** ^^^^

 **theham:** we missed you so much, your eyes, your hair, your laugh, your chest, your thighs, your....

 **laffie:** A N Y W A Y  THIS CONVERSATION WAS STARTED SO I COULD WONDER WHY THE FUCK I WAS HANDED A CRAB IN THE LOBBY

 **hercthemerc:** his name's herald

            --

 **theham:** WASHINGTON GAVE ME A FOUNTIAN PEN FOR MY BIRTHDAY/LATE HOLIDAY GIFT!!! IT;T SOSOCOOL SOMEONE FIND MY LEATHER NOTEBOOK

 **laffie:** YOU AHVE LIKE SEVEN LEATHERBACK NOTEBOOKS

 **theham:** THE WATERLOGGED ONE

 **hercthemerc:** i'm pretty sure your drunk self started looking in it, you cried, then hid it under one of the floorboards

 **theham:** wow i'm emo

 **j.laur:** yep

 **laffie:** oui

 **hercthemerc:** ^^

 **theham:** W O  W

\--

 **hercthemerc:** someone bring me the first aid kit

 **laffie:** W HA  T HAPPENED

 **hercthemerc:** i have,,,,a needle,,,,,right through my left thumb

 **laffie:** I"M SPRINTING hoW R IYOU LIVING

 **hercthemerc:** i'm sscrealming but alskso i was once shot thits is nothing

 **laffie:** sometimes i forget we were in the army

 **j.laur:** laf, i literally have a prosthetic leg. also herc, don't u think you should go,,,to the ER???!! MAYBE??!?!

 **hercthemerc:** you think this is the first time this has happened

 **j.laur:** I HOPE S O

 **hercthemerc:** a commoner

\--

 **j.laur:** FIVE HUNDRED TWENTY FIVE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED MINUTES

 **theham:** HUNDRED TWENTY FIVE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED MINUTES MOMENTS SO DEAR

 **hercthemerc:** HUNDRED TWENTY FIVE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED MINUTES MOMENTS HOW DO YOU MEASURE, MEASURE A YEAR?

 **laffie:** what is this

 **j.laur:** [OFFENDED GASP]

\--

 **laffie:** so that was rent

 **laffie:** i'm crying angel my queen

 **laffie:** MUAREEN U BEITCH I LVOE YI

 **laffie:** joAHANN ANG EL COLLINS AIOLLOVE THEMALL

 **laffie:** ohgoffS

 **laffie:** merde

 **theham:** ARE YOU ALRIGHT LAF

 **hercthemerc:** i have them in my arms it'll be fine they're just having cry number 6

 **theham:** your arms are comfy

 **hercthemerc:** your body is soft and cute

 **theham:** your smile is wide and warm

 **hercthemerc:** your eyes are adorable and shining

 **theham:** your laugh is joyful and music to my ears

 **hercthemerc:** somehow, amazingly your kindness outweighs your beauty

 **j.laur:** this is gayer than the movie laf is crying over

\--

 **j.laur:** GUYS I GOT A TURTLE LAF WERRE GOIUNTB TO THE PET STORE ASPAP

 **laffie:** whAT KIND OF TURTLE

 **j.laur:** RED SLIDER PLEASE LET"S FGOOGOGOGOO

 **laffie:** WHERE DID YOU GET IT

 **j.laur:** MARTHA AND MARTHA THEY GOT IT FOR ME SINCE I GOT A PROMOTION AT THE LAB ALSO I"M GETTING A RAISE OF LIKE TEN DOLLARS AN HOUR SO HAHAHA

 **laffie:** CONGRADS YOU SHOULD PICK ME UP FROM THE OFFICE

 **j.laur:** THEY DON"T LIKE ME BEING THERE COME OUTSIDE

 **laffie:** WHY IS ALL OF THIS IN CAPS

 **theham:** WHY IS ALL OF THIS ON THE GROUP CHAT

\--

 **theham:** am i gay

 **laffie:** yes

 **theham:** great

\--

 **theham:** i made a fRIEND I DID IT

 **j.laur:** SOMEONE WE KNOW??

 **theham:** THOMAS JEFFERSON

 **j.laur:** oh god

 **laffie:** oh mon dieu

 **hercthemerc:** this is it, the end

 **theham:** ????

 **laffie:** you're gonna hate him

 **theham:** we have like totally opposite opinions, but he's funny?? and friendly??

\--

 **theham:** LAF HOLD ME

 **laffie:** WHAT HAPPENED

 **hercthemerc:** i walked in with his lunch, thomas was there, literally laying on top of alex's desk as they joked around and i said, "you're not going to eat him out for lunch, right?"aND THOMAS SHOT UP, SLAMMING HEADS WITH ALEXANDER, BOTH OF THEM YELLED AND WERE RED AS FUCK AND HOLY CRAP THE WORD VOMIT THAT I HEARD WAS TO DIE FOR THESE ARE TWO OF THE HIGHEST POSITIONED MEN IN AMERICA CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS

 **laffie:** are u sure ur not gay for thomas

 **theham:** everyone's gay for thomas that's not the point thAT I"M TRYING TO MAKE I LOVE YOU HERCULES BUT HONESTLY SHUT THE FUCK UP

 **hercthemerc:** i'm still crying over it the taxi driver is worried

            --

 **j.laur:** i just realized that we have?? such odd jobs for ex-military people??

 **theham:** i don't?? not really??

 **laffie:** john?? we work w/ the pres (!!)

 **laffie:** you and herc are the odd ones

 **hercthemerc:** we are the 50% okAY

 **j.laur:** REPRESENT

 **theham:** crhsit

\--

 **laffie:** john how's your day going

 **j.laur:** my boss just found out that I only have a leg and a half?? and like?? i"VE WORJED WITH YOU FOR THREE YEARS??

 **laffie:** ohmygod

 **j.laur:** he gave me a stuffed turtle does he not know how i lost my leg? oh

 **j.laur:** he doESN"T LMAO THIS WILL BE FUN I"LL UPDATE YOU

 **laffie:** you know i was just going to bribe you so you could get alex out of my hair since he's in a Mood but okay

 **hercthemerc:** i got it

 **laffie:** bless

 **theham:** i"M NOT IN A MOOD WASHINGTON JUST WAS HAUHGUJHGGGG

 **laffie:** see

 **theham:** iaeugfbqeH NOUUH hinqwuHgq el

\--

 **theham:** i am calm

 **j.laur:** no ur not

 **j.laur:** but i was given a military turtle also- am i really a turtle addict???

 **hercthemerc:** yes

 **laffie:** oui

 **theham:** sí

 **theham:** our dorm in college literally was your personal art room/turtle shrine

 **j.laur:** i can't believe i'm being exposed lik e  thI  S

 **hercthemerc:** love, your specialization in marine biology is turtles

 **laffie:** when we first met u were wearing a turtle hawaiian shirt

 **j.laur:** i'm not bringing you to the pA  R TY NE E X T WEEK

 **hercthemerc:** john you're the only one who likes work parties

 **j.laur:** dammit

\--

 **laffie:** who are you doing

 **theham:** do you mean what are you doing?

 **laffie:** no but that answers my question

\--

 **hercthemerc:** mY THIGHS

 **j.laur:** youR THI GH  S??

 **j.laur:** I"M FILINIG A DI V RORCE

 **hercthemerc:** i'll massage ur shoulders

 **j.laur:** i love you??

 **theham:** i see what you mean laf

 **laffie:** it's an art

 **hercthemerc:** who wants pizza

 **j.laur:** i want pasta

 **hercthemerc:** yeES PASTA

 **theham:** herc you hate making pasta???

 **hercthemerc:** PAS TA PASTA PASTA

 **laffie:** hercules love, you're turning into a fable

 **hercthemerc:** but soft is nice

 **laffie:** yes it is, but let them live

 **theham:** john do u feel like we're being objectified

 **j.laur:** slightly, but honestly i love them both so much i don't mind

 **theham:** same, kinda inspiring actually.

 **theham:** but that's for after dinner

 **laffie:** hercules mY BRILLIANT H U SBA ND

\--

 **tommyJ:** alex alex alex alex aelLLEX

 **theham:** thomas thomas thomas thomas thoMAMSA

 **theham:** what can i do 4 u

 **tommyJ:** tell jemmy to stOP DOING THE THING

 **theham:** lmao now u know how i feel when lafayette walks by in that skirt

  **tommyJ:** STOP HIM

 **theham:** SUFFER REPUBLICAN SCUM

 **tommyJ:** I H A T E

\--         

 **theham:** hercules i love you

 **hercthemerc:** i love you too??

 **hercthemerc:** any particular reason?? for the declaration?

 **theham:** i haven't slept in three days and i looked up and saw a picture of you on my desk

 **hercthemerc:** LAF U SAW THAT RIGHT

 **laffie:** already infilrated office, i'll have him sleep in george's office

 **theham:** noONONOO

\--

 **laffie:** he's out like a light      

 **hercthemerc:** is he seriously sleeping in the oval office??

 **laffie:** i wish, but no, i just had to go talk to gwash about leaving early so i can bring home a tired ham who needs sleep

 **laffie:** and i come back to alex sleeping and a slightly (very) confused thomas jefferson holding him like wow they're so sweet together

 **hercthemerc:** are you trying to get our husband a boyfriend

 **laffie:** that depends on ur answer

 **j.laur:** you got my approval

 **hercthemerc:** honestly after my last encounter with thomas i'm game

 **j.laur:** : i love being poly where i can love you all and if you love someone else too you can date them as well it's just i love love and i love you all

 **laffie:** <3<3<3

 **hercthemerc:** ^^^

  --

 **hercthemerc:** we did this in the group chat again, didn't we

 **theham:** oh yes

           

 


End file.
